How to have amazing Lesbian Relationships, Love, Sex and Passion

It’s pretty fantastic and amazing when you consider how we fall in love, that the feeling cannot be duplicated for any one woman we have connected to. The emotion is so seducing and mind altering, research has shown that our brain chemistry resembles that of someone high on cocaine the first 3 to 9 months of dating (PATRICIA LOVE, Ed.D. , awesome lady must read her books! .

High on love? Yes, it’s wonderful and makes us do wonderfully stupid things- like move in together after two weeks, and no I’m not pointing any fingers! We lose all reason, forget all past pains, and at first believe in an everlasting hope and happiness.

Unfortunately, after awhile the high leaves and reality sets in, and we find ourselves often confused and unsettled. We crave love and partnership so much that we either reject it completely stating we enjoy being alone (I really can’t go through this again!) or become love addicts (I love you after the first date). Very few lesbians (not just lesbians but people in general) have successful long lasting relationships. In a time of extreme stress and deadlines we have lost the art of dating and intimacy.

Intimacy not sex, anyone can have sex but intimacy is a skill. It’s not about getting closer just physically but on an emotional and mental level. You have to be willing to set boundaries and make yourself vulnerable at the same time. You have to be willing to give one day and receive the next, and grow together. There needs to be an understanding that rules are required in a relationship and that they will change with people. That the only way to deal with that change is not through avoidance or anger but the art of conversation. Do you know how to ask for what you want? Can you tell me right now something you need? Again something you need, not need to help someone else? Tell me right now, look at me, what do you want? Whisper to me what you desire within you. (OK, don’t get all excited we are just practicing!)

This is inner intimacy building, you need to want and desire things within yourself, and then practice sharing it with the woman you care for. Often what separates and keeps us alone is that we can not define within us our own self love. As gay women we are not supported or given the guidance that other partnerships may receive, often we seclude ourselves to our small lady circles and get stuck in the dysfunctional” dyke drama.” We have reputations for being reactive and angry, yet in the self help aisles their are a millions books to help heterosexual couples and maybe 5 for us ladies. There is no manual to help us understand each other, and often we have been so rejected by society, communities, and even our own families that telling someone our thoughts, dreams and needs can be frightening.

My Ladies of Columbia we may be a small community, most of us know each other or know someone that knows someone, yet a distance lays between us. What if we learn together the art of communication and intimacy and connect on a deeper level? What would be the consequence of a community of lesbians changing together. Today as a gay woman in Columbia, what can you do differently to build intimacy within yourself and the women you share this space with. I want to get to know you!

~The Lesbian Guru Please Subscribe above for future articles and if you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://TheLesbianGuru.com! Or just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Twitter.com/TheLesbianGuru or http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru

Where are Lesbians meeting other Lesbians? Our community, as small as it is and as incestuous as it is known for has been having a hard time finding legitimate mates.

Many Lesbians meet there next partner through there ex (whom often they return to for a few more rounds) or in a bar (because the ladies do like to drink a fair bit) that it has become a challenging experience to find an interesting untouched female that has not been through the multiple girl circles we belong too.

In therapy I am constantly asked where do gay women meet up? Especially if you are in some kind of alcohol and drug recovery or have dated so many psychos in the same area code that you need a new hopeful experience! Well the Internet is the new way to date, actually not so new but where more and more gay woman are congregating to find their soul mate. Online you safely put a profile up, some nice photos and basically advertise yourself to the United States or even the world of Lesbians in search for love. In the sea of women, contacts are established; friendships are formulated and sometimes through the timeless romantic form of communication, known as “love letters” you find someone.

Most sites will even give you dating tips and create a safe environment to chat to individuals. Here are some Lesbian Guru safety tips (just in case!).

• Get an anonymous e-mail account, most sites provide the mailing service. DO NOT give any personal information, it doesn’t matter how wonderful they sound. If they are that freaking wonderful they will still be like that a couple of weeks into the “getting to know you” process.
• Be careful of your professional Psychodykos, these ladies have ALL the right answers; they tell you what you want to hear, and seem to be exactly what you’ve always wanted. It’s probably bulls–t. This is where the warrior princess in you smells the crap, so to speak.
• You don’t have to respond to everyone, that makes you extremely codependent and you should see a therapist if you find yourself in that position.
• Don’t expect a response from everyone, refer to third safety tip. This does not mean you are not worth a women time but unfortunately online you can meet multiple women simultaneous, which increase opportunities but also means people will find someone of interest fast and may not get back to you.
• Don’t let too much time pass between e-mails, remember there are very few women out there that match your style, so work it but don’t go overboard to the point of desperation.
• Be specific! So many profiles and responses generalize too much. For example “I like reading and watching movies,” good for you but so does every other person on the planet, what makes you unique?
• But most importantly NEVER say “I love you” before you’ve met. Trust me on this one it will feel so much more real in person when you are looking deep into their eye “soul gazing.”

It may not be as romantic as walking into a room and crossing eyes with a soul mate you never knew you had but it could expand your search and teach you to move slowly and get to know someone before you get too close. After all if it’s an unforgettable Lesbian Love Story you want then time should be the teller.

~The Lesbian Guru                                                                            

Please Subscribe  for future articles and if you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://TheLesbianGuru.com! Or just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Twitter.com/TheLesbianGuru or http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru