How to have amazing Lesbian Relationships, Love, Sex and Passion

Okay, so it’s the weekend and there is a heavy feeling in the air. Lets take a break from all the serious issues plaguing us and be naughty (after all it is a full moon)!

When in the Lady bars (really it should be just bar… but I’m trying to remain hopefully), shopping in Rosewood, drinking coffee downtown and looking at the gorgeous Columbia Women one thing comes to mind “Is she Vanilla or Chocolate?”

We all have are own individual sexual style and being with a woman is so wonderful in itself it’s hard to describe or put into words the magic of lesbian love-making. There are an infinite amount of ways lesbians can have sex, and we have a variety of women to experience sex with, bisexual, woman who enjoy sex with other women (no label necessary), queer women, and lesbian transgender (http://carolinatransgendersociety.com/). Here are some reasons why lady loving is so fantastic:

• The roles can be switched up, back and forth. We can be dominant and in control (ripping her clothes off against a wall) then completely submissive and gentle (soft kisses and caresses). Because of the way are bodies are shaped and created we are free to do whatever are imagination allows us. Playing, switching and trying different roles is empowering and exciting!
• Of course there is the big “O” for orgasm. Women don’t need to recharge or stop we can keep on going, it’s like we are powered up with batteries! Non stop sex sessions are common amongst lesbians compared to heterosexuals (one more reason why we are so special!). And if your one of those lucky girls that can have multiple orgasms, well I need your number!
• Then, there is just something about watching a women get off that is unreal and incredibly sexy. It is a powerful surge of energy that can make the darkest of days find light.
• A woman’s body is soft, so soft it’s where we find security and warmth. There is nothing on this planet that can compare to the beauty of a naked women, artist throughout the centuries have attempted to capture it but never emulated it!
• The best part is that sometimes you find a woman who is completely linked to your sexual stamina, and our able to explore and experience sex in an open and like-minded way.

However, with that said some of us opt for a more traditional, sweet, and soft approach (Vanilla), where as other girls like it hot, sexy, and hard (Chocolate). What determines our sexual energy or expressing of love? Is the way we get naked and rub up all over each other a representation of who we are?

Some people put a lot of value on who you are by how we do it, but truly, how you have sex tells a lot about how you feel about yourself. It shows your confidence, maturity level and intimacy skill. Do you like it with the lights on or off? Public or behind closed doors? Upside down or missionary? Are you just a giver, taker or both? Are you happy with how you feel as a sexual being or is it uncomfortable?
Depending on how you answer the questions will determine how you express yourself in bed and how the other lady will mirror it back. Being physical can make us feel vulnerable and exposed, that’s part of the process of connecting with another human being. The healthier your own self-image and confidence the more wonderful experiences you will attract, therefore good sex starts with self (and I mean that literally too…. that’s the next article!).

Once you have that down, then the rest is all about fun and expressing yourself. So what do you think you are, Vanilla or Chocolate? Personally, I’ve always sided towards dark bitter-sweet chocolate!

~The Lesbian Guru 

Please Subscribe  for future articles and if you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://TheLesbianGuru.com! Or just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Twitter.com/TheLesbianGuru or http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru

It’s pretty fantastic and amazing when you consider how we fall in love, that the feeling cannot be duplicated for any one woman we have connected to. The emotion is so seducing and mind altering, research has shown that our brain chemistry resembles that of someone high on cocaine the first 3 to 9 months of dating (PATRICIA LOVE, Ed.D. , awesome lady must read her books! .

High on love? Yes, it’s wonderful and makes us do wonderfully stupid things- like move in together after two weeks, and no I’m not pointing any fingers! We lose all reason, forget all past pains, and at first believe in an everlasting hope and happiness.

Unfortunately, after awhile the high leaves and reality sets in, and we find ourselves often confused and unsettled. We crave love and partnership so much that we either reject it completely stating we enjoy being alone (I really can’t go through this again!) or become love addicts (I love you after the first date). Very few lesbians (not just lesbians but people in general) have successful long lasting relationships. In a time of extreme stress and deadlines we have lost the art of dating and intimacy.

Intimacy not sex, anyone can have sex but intimacy is a skill. It’s not about getting closer just physically but on an emotional and mental level. You have to be willing to set boundaries and make yourself vulnerable at the same time. You have to be willing to give one day and receive the next, and grow together. There needs to be an understanding that rules are required in a relationship and that they will change with people. That the only way to deal with that change is not through avoidance or anger but the art of conversation. Do you know how to ask for what you want? Can you tell me right now something you need? Again something you need, not need to help someone else? Tell me right now, look at me, what do you want? Whisper to me what you desire within you. (OK, don’t get all excited we are just practicing!)

This is inner intimacy building, you need to want and desire things within yourself, and then practice sharing it with the woman you care for. Often what separates and keeps us alone is that we can not define within us our own self love. As gay women we are not supported or given the guidance that other partnerships may receive, often we seclude ourselves to our small lady circles and get stuck in the dysfunctional” dyke drama.” We have reputations for being reactive and angry, yet in the self help aisles their are a millions books to help heterosexual couples and maybe 5 for us ladies. There is no manual to help us understand each other, and often we have been so rejected by society, communities, and even our own families that telling someone our thoughts, dreams and needs can be frightening.

My Ladies of Columbia we may be a small community, most of us know each other or know someone that knows someone, yet a distance lays between us. What if we learn together the art of communication and intimacy and connect on a deeper level? What would be the consequence of a community of lesbians changing together. Today as a gay woman in Columbia, what can you do differently to build intimacy within yourself and the women you share this space with. I want to get to know you!

~The Lesbian Guru Please Subscribe above for future articles and if you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to email me at TheLesbianGuru@Gmail.com with ExaminerQ as the title or you can follow me on my Blog http://TheLesbianGuru.com! Or just Join The Lesbian Revolution of Health & Love on http://Twitter.com/TheLesbianGuru or http://Facebook.com/TheFemmeGuru