Lesbian Transgender for a Night!
All night, all I got from my two companions and supporters for the evening was “wow, you’re really not yourself. Are you okay?” After the hundredth time of saying that I am alright I tried to bounce out of my head but I had already become hyper vigilant to my environment and to the people who surrounded me.
Comfortable in my body, bound and changed through the use of duct tape and props but not with the person who was inhabiting it. I can only imagine the experience being the opposite for an individual who is transgender, to know the person but not being able to fit in the body.
I have always had a great admiration for the transgender population, I have felt that they have been at the fore front of the attacks from the heterosexual community and for much of our time on this planet they have been misunderstood, ignored, abused, victimized, and treated unkindly. This has not only been from our straight counterparts but from the gay, lesbian, and bisexual community.
I do think that things are getting better on the LGB side and that we are attempting to include and educate each other; however transgendered people are still abused and harmed on a regular basis from the world in general. Unlike some of us that chose to be in the closet, we only have to hide our sexuality, but what about when it’s your body you are changing and do not fit into? There is no hiding when you know that your body and person/mind don’t belong with one another.
Like two puzzle pieces that fit together we take for granted the beautifully choreographed dance of our body and mind merging, but for Trans people there is no dance but a battle. I think it’s ironic that more people do not get it, everyday individuals struggle with body weight and disease and feel that they’re bodies have failed them and wished they could change it. Is this so different or hard to understand that someone may feel that they’re body is not rightly shaped and that in order to feel whole it would have to change. We are consistently being forced to see are selves in a one dimensional view point: you have a vagina so therefore you are a female, hence you need to reproduce and like pink! Well boxes are great for carrying and storing things, but people are far too brilliantly complicated to fit into one box.
Biology is not perfect, and the universe was not created on perfection but the beauty of uniqueness and interconnectedness. So my mission was to interconnect, get uncomfortable and change.
So here was my experience: the night started with laughs and giggles and at first when I got in the car with a slightly itchy crotch and two lesbians teasing me, I was actually feeling pretty good. I was even beginning to feel the male part of my personality come up to the surface, like he had been hiding and remaining quiet all this time in the background.
That feeling lasted all of about 10 minutes, as soon as I walked into the restaurant and the three girls sitting waiting for their table looked at me in disgust, then I felt about two-feet tall.
I was either met with invisible indifference or questioning dirty looks, and honestly it was not the straight people that really got to me but the unresponsiveness of my LBG community.
I thought that for the first time I would be recognized as a person who is attracted to women, but alas I felt invisible (I might just be that ugly and have not yet surfaced out of denial!)
As a Lesbian that is described as femme, which often means “you have that straight look,” I have often felt indistinguishable to my community. I pass as straight and have a child, so therefore I need to Come Out pretty much everyday of my life and am often looked over by my own community.
My friends think this is funny, and yes we have often all laughed at the fact that I am the most open of all of them and yet the most unseen in the lesbian hangouts. So when I had the courage to change and transform into my Lesbian Transgender self I was saddened to see I felt exposed to the straight world even more to be rejected upon but also that I was still very much unnoticed to Lesbians (maybe I was too cute and really did look too much like a straight guy! I can’t win!)
It definitely made me appreciate my body than I did before but I also value the discovery of the male side of me and the kindness and shy boy that lives inside my shell.
He is a pretty cute sweet guy and I don’t intend to keep him in hiding anymore!
Watch the videos to see the transformation as well as to have a good laugh!
Trans for Night 1/6,Trans for Night 2/6, Trans for Night 3/6, Trans for a Night 4/6 (Issues with the penis prop!), Trans for Night 5/6 (Loving the pecs! Well Ellen is loving them!), and Trans for a Night the aftermath 6/6.
Special thanks to Mac for the learning experience and showing me her world, as well to my close and dear friend Ellen for always keeping me smiling and supporting me and my crazy adventures (Holla back girl!)
~The Lesbian Guru
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I wish there were more people like you willing to make themselves a little uncomfortable to see what others lives may be like. I applaud you for it. Perhaps some of the butches and bois should femme it up for a night now….well maybe not! Lol!
Wish I could have been there the night you went out, would have loved to have seen the reaction on some faces. Hell, I don’t even try to dress up like a guy and still get double-takes when walking in the women’s bathroom. lol Great job and thanks for making sure the T gets represented in LGBT!!
where do I find the videos, cant see them on youtube!
Dear Sister of Mine…
I can not believe we are from the same gene pool!
Click on the colored writing that says videos or just go abouve to the different tabs I have a look under Lesbian Guru Videos. For future reference the youtube site is http://www.youtube.com/alexkarydi
its great you spent a night been trans. i think every one should.
gay and lesbians over all they are happy to judge us and look down apon us and yet they hate been treated like that from the straights.
we are not hurting any one we dont judge others.
i am post op female or translesbian but a lot of lesbains have no time for us.
most of us just looking for freinds.
Dear Leece,
Thank you so much for sharing and allowing us to better understand a very important part of the LGBT community.
I appreaciate your openess and you can stand on your box here anytime you want because that is what this blog is all about sharing, loving , and connecting with each other.
have a wonderful day sweetheart!
Keep teaching and making us more aware…
Alex
some thing i wrote for 2 lesbian datting sites some time ago.
A SMALL BIT ABOUT TRANSSEXUALS PEOPLE
There seams to be a stigma in most communities that we (transsexuals) are strange, sick, mentally ill ,freaks , that are just living some sort of wild sexual fantasy.
This is so far from the truth.
We would like to have friends and lots of them why not .
Most people don’t want anything to do with us and that’s a shame.
We are one group of people that really know what its like to have discrimination put on us yet we don’t discriminated on others.
Gay and lesbians hate been discriminated on buy straight people yet its ok to discriminate on a trans person they don’t have feelings.
its funny i have noticed over the yrs straight women will give you a freind ship kiss when saying hi or good buy but even most of my very close lesbian freinds wont let you give them a kiss or peck.
its like they think we will want to jump straight into bed with them or there worried they may catch the trans bug.(warning it can jump for miles)
or is it yuk its a guy in a dress mentality.
if all we wanted was to have sex sex sex we would go join a swingers club.
i have been told transsexuals are very sort after there.
i suppose what i am trying to say is don’t be scared of us we don’t bit we are not freaks we are not sexual deviates.
we are normal people that were born in the wrong body and we had no choice but to do something about it or suicide.
around 50%try or do suicide.
the rate is very high in Australia and around the world. There is one state in Australia that i believe the rate is around 80%.
A lot of the reason is because they think that everyone will disown them or they know how hard the road is to go through to be the same as the mind tells them they are.they cant except been alone for the rest of there lives. They don’t have the money to make the changes needed.
loneliness is such a hard thing to live with.
having friends helps to stop that loneliness but for some, friends can be hard to find.
people laughing at you calling you names yes it hurts unless you learn to become think skinned like this black duck.
i just say to myself that they are like that because they know nothing about us so i dont blame them for been the way they are.
one last thing is if this was some sort of sexual wild fantasy why would we want to go through all the above plus often never been allowed to see your kids again and why would we spend $30.000 plus on very painful major surgery and drugs etc on some sort of fantasy.
it don’t make sense to me. if we started to discriminate on everyone else there would be a big out cry.
i can see the news headlines now.
A lot of us have been to lesbian events in the past but wont go any longer as we get sick of been looked down to, like what is this freak doing here. You can see them talking about you, hoping you will just walk out the door.
Everyone thinks the reason we have sex reassignment surgery is so we can have sex with guys.
Most of us don’t feel complete until we have had surgery.
Yes a lot do want guys and some of us are only interested in women.
Most of us will never find a women partner and we have to learn to except that but we do need to have friends .
Friends are so very important in every ones life.
I have many straight friends male and female and a few lesbian friends.
So maybe its time for you to get out of that comfort zone and say hi the next time you meet a trans person. We don’t bit.
now its time for me to go back in my box .
i hope you all have a lovely week.
leece xxx
(Ps) sorry about the kisses i hope you don’t catch anything from them.
hehehehehe
I wonder what would happen if I liked that on facebook, and my whole family saw it!! that would be hilarious!!!!
I really enjoyed reading yur blog. And yu are right, transgender get descriminated not only by society as a whole, but by the gay community as well. I think that there are people who feel uncomfortable in their bodies and yet they stay in them because they fear becoming outcastd even more.
More awareness is needed. Great blog!
WOW! That was like totally awesome. Ok first of all you’re like totally cute, and your face pretty much says I’m either female or a guy with an EXTREMELY femme face. Apparently guys can tell much better then girls can, lols! Anyway as a finishing thought, I love my vagina too XD
Interesting piece of information to share in the community about support of our transgender friends acceptance. Please read and share with others
i think every one should spend a night as one of us and just see what we go through very day of our lives.
we are judged buy straights gay and lesbians . yet what have we done wrong to them.
i dont judge ppl i think its awsum at the newcastle pride was my first time seeing 1 in real and i think its so intresting and u kinda dont no the diffrence much it is amazing tho ^_^
This post keeps referring to “lesbian transgender,” but your descriptions and the videos really suggest that you were presenting as you think a trans MAN might present. While there are a number of trans men and trans male spectrum people who do have lesbian as part of their identity, there are a great many who do not. Just speaking personally, I don’t consider myself a lesbian.
Perhaps even more important, defining “lesbian transgender” to mean trans MEN erases and excludes the many trans lesbian women who are part of LGBTQ communities, which is something that’s been a huge problem for decades. (E.g., the purges of lesbian-feminist communities in the 1970′s of trans women.)
Also, I am always left feeling odd and uncomfortable with these “trans for a day” exposes. Binding your chest doesn’t mean you know what my life is like now. Also, why is it not good enough for trans people to tell their own stories? Why couldn’t this post’ space have been given to an actual trans lesbian to do a guest post, so that she could speak about her real lived experiences in queer communities, if one wanted to cover the issue?
I do recognize that the intention was good here, but I do feel that this post misses the mark of truly respecting trans people and our experiences.
Dear Trans Guy,
Thank you for your comment, but rest assured my intentions are selfish and not under the assumption on how it must be to live your life.
The videos and my articles come from two places, firstly to HEAL as what I write about is either something I am going through personally or someone I love is dealing with. Secondly, it is to CONNECT with my community and find solace in knowing that I am not alone and that there is a way for me to connect with others.
I apoligize if I offended you but I love learning and experience challenges in life so that I never take for granted who I am and where I am. As for me keeping the “label” lesbian, well that is part of my identity one I was not prepared to seperate myself with as that is something I have waited a long time to express openly.
Thank you for your interest and a new perspective in the reading.
Have a good one and I hope you stop by again.
Alex
As an old bi-boy, let me say that I don’t understand how you’re not being hit on all the time. How can someone as attractive as you, boy/girl/other be “invisible”? I’m a San Franciscan by ossmosis, and long ago I just figured it was easier to say, “Fine, whatever, take off your clothes and surprise me.”